A Lesson in Confidence

I think a lot of times newbie solitary pagans hide behind books because there is a lack of confidence to practice.

When I first began six years ago, I did a few basic spells and were delighted that they worked. But the confidence to live a pagan life wasn't there. I wasn't surrounded by like minded people, I didn't know tons about the craft, so I retreated back to the books in hopes of one day getting the cosmic go ahead to practice again.

Fast forward to this year. Last week was rough, not only for me but for everyone in my office. Our boss was on a warpath and was wrecking peace wherever he went. After he made my good friend cry at her desk, I knew it was time for something to be done.

"I'm a Witch, damn it," I muttered to myself as I searched for a lighter. "I can do something about this."

And so I did. I borrowed a lighter from a friend, lit my Goddess candle that I keep at my desk and on a post-it wrote a quick peace spell. The spell went:

A time for everything

Everything in its place

Remove this negativity 

And put peace in its place. 

I then closed my eyes, slowed my breathing and mentally built up energy. I visualized the negative energy flowing into my body and peace flowing out. In and out. In and out. The whole time, I silently chanted my spell. I sent tendrils of peace to my friend who was hiding in her office, and peace to my boss who desperately needed it.

After a few minutes, I took the paper with the spell and ripped it up, and then blew out the Goddess candle. Again, I visualized the tendrils of peaceful smoke moving through the office, touching everyone that had come in contact with my boss.

I then went about my day, trying to keep my friend calm and continue to be peaceful and positive to my boss.

Later on that night, my friend called me into her office.

"Did you see Boss in here?" she asked, her voice hushed. I shook my head no. "Yeah, he came in here and apologized. Can you believe it? He's never apologized for anything before!!"  She was right. Our boss is not the type to say sorry. I was shocked myself!

We chatted and she was once again happy. The boss seemed to be in a very calm and pleasant mood when I left that night. So the spell worked. Everyone was happy again. And I had proven to myself that I do in fact have what it takes to practice daily and whenever needed.

Who are the God and the Goddess?

How I view the God and the Goddess:

I believe in energy. It has already been proven that humans store energy . We’ve all felt the transference of emotion between someone who is angry or sad and someone who is in a good mood. We know inherently that we can be silly and make someone we care about laugh, or it has been proven that the power  of prayer can work in ‘mysterious’ ways.

When I was growing up, I went to church (we were Southern Baptist) and I hated it. I hated the feeling of being in church. The energy didn’t feel right. These people that I sat with felt dead on the inside. They came out of obligation, and it was almost too much for me most Sundays. As a matter of fact, I came to hate Sundays with a passion. My father would wake up and something would always put him in a bad mood. We’d solemnly get ready for church, listen to him complain about whatever it is he could complain about (the kids, a fight with our mother, the traffic, etc.) and listen to this God awful church music.

I hated the whole experience.

And it didn’t make sense. Why pray to some far away being when there was all of this good energy around you? Why not just use that to make it happen?? Even at a young age, I was frustrated with Christianity.

When I discovered Wicca, it was like the floodgates of positive emotion came bursting open. Suddenly, I could practice things that interested me, not some standoffish preacher who was only interested in those who lined his pockets. I could research my own spirituality, I could practice when and how I wanted to!

And so I began to think about what ‘God’ really meant to me.

I believe that the God and the Goddess are the same energy. Exactly the same. In nature, there is duality and so to honor that duality, we speak of the God and the Goddess as though they are two separate beings ….two sides of the same coin. (Think the Holy Trinity.) That God/Goddess energy flows through and around us, in the air we breathe, the land we walk on, and the people we love. And I believe that being a Witch means understanding the power of that energy, opening himself up to it and then channeling it for his purpose. I know in Wicca the rede is “An it harm none do what ye will” , but I believe it’s silly to not realize that just like there is positive energy, there is negative energy. And some people work with negative energy whether we agree with it or not.

The power of duality.

In later posts, I will explore various African gods and goddesses who represent that God/Goddess energy. But I realize that the energy that I tap into whenever I work magic is of the God/Goddess and the gods and goddesses that might adorn my altar are simply representation. Sounds simple, but it took me a long time to understand that.

So that’s what I think the God and Goddess are. The same energy. Organic energy that flows all around and through us.