What is a Witch?

I'm super lazy today, so I decided to create a quick video (very, very basic) to discuss today's topic: What is a Witch? (according to Marie). Enjoy!

Blah Day

Today I'm not feeling good about myself.

On Friday night, I went out with friends and had a great time. Unfortunately, on Saturday I paid for it....with a severe hangover (much to my husband's amusement). So I haven't been productive in any chores, writing or Craft work. :(

This morning I woke up depressed. The weekend seemed to be already gone. Husband is not feeling well, so I laid back down with him. It's now 12:30 in the afternoon and I'm just now dragging myself out of the bed to take a shower.

I'm not feeling sexy today, either. It's funny how one day you think you're a sex goddess and the next you feel like a brown blob. I resolved that I would wear makeup even if we don't leave the house, and tonight I'd like to give myself a facial and do my nails. A little pampering is just what this little witchlet needs.

I didn't do my visualizations yesterday or this morning, either. Again, yesterday my head was in a toilet bowl and today I was just being lazy. I hope to get back on the train tonight.

Where are the 'Normal' Pagans??

Caught your attention, didn't I? :)

When I first began reaching out to others I was surprised to find that most of the Pagans I came across looked a certain way. They were white, very interested in Celtic and European witchcraft, and...well, they didn't necessarily look like they would fit into corporate America.

I work in such an environment, where you wear suits and ties, and can't have hair that is too crazy. My black dreadlocks are pulled neatly into a bun every day, and the most color you'll see on me is my skin. :) As I came across more and more Pagans, I began to wonder if 'normal' Pagans existed.

Now, of course I know they do. But where the hell where they? They certainly weren't at the drum circles or New Age bookshops. At these places, I saw folks with bright green hair, huge pentacle necklaces and they looked like they belonged at a Renaissance fair. I stood out in my blue jeans, sensible sweater and Prada eyeglasses. It was amazing!

I can laugh about it now, because I know there are tons of solitary pagans and witches out there in the world. There are even more who definitely follow the craft without labeling it. But at the time, I was even more disheartened. Not only could I not find a group that would fit my needs, but I couldn't even find Pagans that were 'every day' people: went to the gym, liked to play Frisbee in the park, didn't own pentacle necklaces and had a shoe fetish! It made Paganism seem like a joke.

I guess I'm writing this for those out there that are secretly thinking the same thing I used to think. It's taboo to think this, of course, and if you dare utter those words in public you'll feel the wrath of the Pagan community. Just like it's taboo to point out there there aren't many people of color visible in the Pagan community. You know, I'm currently reading Green Witchcraft: Folk Magic, Fairy Lore & Herb Craft by Ann Moura and even though she has some good thoughts, I'm put off by her streamlining Paganism to just the European traditions. I'm thirsty for African American authors writing about African and African American pagan traditions (it's party of my study actually).

But if you find yourself wondering the same thing I used to wonder, fear not. It's OK and totally normal. And know that there are Pagans and Witches out there who you'd never suspect are Pagan...just like you!

Searching for Others

I've been studying Paganism and Wicca for six years. I was originally "introduced" to the concept of Witchcraft through the TV show Charmed (embarrassingly enough, even though I lurrrrve that show!!). I remember being intrigued...what was this Wicca that they spoke of? After doing a Google search, I was suddenly thrust into the world of Goddesses and energies and healing information. I was hooked and haven't looked back.

I remember when I was first on the path I immediately sought out others. It was exciting, having people who thought like me out there in the world! I went to a New Age shop and sat with the owner, who was a practitioner of Hoodoo. She was really nice, but didn't have time to actually give much information. I did realize that I wasn't as interested in practicing Hoodoo as I thought.

I then graduated from college and found a Pagan group that I quickly joined. Because we were in the Midwest (the heart of it), I was the only woman of color. I learned the hard way that just because they were Pagans did not mean we would all connect. The women were all white and older and set in their ways. I frustrated them and they frustrated me, so I left the group discouraged.

I eventually moved to the West Coast and found a coven. These were (and still are) a lovely group of young women who offer tons of information, have lots of fun and are everything I wanted. Unfortunately, my schedule would not allow me to participate regularly like they required. I ended up sadly leaving from the group and not being able to become a dedicant.

By this time (almost two years ago) I was thoroughly discouraged. I had been studying witchcraft on and off for the last four years and felt I had nothing to show for it. What was worse, I couldn't find a group that I belonged to. I mourned my loss and closed my Book of Shadows, only referencing it when I was truly lost and needed guidance.

Towards the end of last year, my spirit was screaming at me. It was thirsty for knowledge and growth. I needed to open my BOS again and get back to work. I'm a spiritual person and so to have turned my back on it for so long was doing me more harm than good. I promised myself that in 2014, I would complete my Year and a Day and focus on my Craft.

I realized during the self reflection period that lasted for these past two years I didn't need a group or a coven. That I could be an effective Witch all by myself. And so I'm proud to say that I'm a solitary witchlet and I feel confident in my ability to study the Craft on my own.

Day 2- Reverence

This is totally weird, but:

Last night I did my moon visualization and immediately thought of the feminine energy filling me up. I could image the soft rays entering me with each breath I took, regulating my menstrual cycle, flowing through my blood, giving me life. I thought about my trying to get pregnant and the moonlight  seemed to flow through my womb, healing what needed to be healed so that I can conceive. It was like soft, velvety hands caressing me over and over again. When I opened my eyes, my hands were resting on my stomach gently, as though I was already expecting a child.

Throughout the night, my dreams were sexual. I dreamed that I was irresistible to men and that they had to have me. I was hesitant (some of these men were married to other women), but I felt the powerful sexual pull as well. In the end, one particular man and I caved to the power of the moon flow of sexual energy and it was amazing.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm going to go out and have an orgy. :)

But it was wild to see how the Goddess' sexual energy was present in my dreams after I opened up myself to her. It was...intoxicating. I can see why we love this energy. 

This morning, after visualizing the sun giving me energy and strength, I pulled a rune to see what was in store for me today:

I opened my book of shadows and found Ansuz, which means "Call" or "Law" and read:

A revealing message or insight, communication. Signals, inspiration, enthusiasm, change of place or settings. Blessings, the taking of advice. Good health, harmony, truth, wisdom.

I couldn't believe it. I had a revealing message in my dream, communication with the Goddess herself. She revealed her wisdom as she flowed her energy through me, reminding me that she is here and with me. She mentioned my trying to conceive with my husband and touched my womb. The thought occurred that for the last two days he's been trying to make love to me (I haven't been in the mood) and that maybe now is the time to try. I checked an online almanac and see that the moon is currently in Waxing phase. I reference my BOS again and read:

The waxing Moon is the best time to do a spell for growth, beginning new projects, initiation and enhancement. 

I bounced out of the bed this morning feeling energized and ready to take on the world and more importantly, my life.

This rune was dead on.

I felt like weeping in joy but can only bow my head in reverence.

Day 1- Retrospection

It's silly, but I never know what to write when I blog.

This blog is about my pagan living, and I'm constantly thinking about my spirituality. But when it comes down to writing...I draw a blank. Hmmm....

Last night I began Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. This week, I'm doing page 13's exercise of visualizing energy from the sun and the moon. I bought this book years ago when I was just arbitrarily collecting Wicca items, and am now glad that I did. His writing style is super easy to understand and follow along.

This morning, I woke up after a deep sleep and sat at the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes and chanted "Let the sun fill me" silently over and over again. While chanting, I imagined the sun poring through my window and the rays gently going over me repeatedly. I imagined myself warming...how the sun would feel on my toes, my face, my arm. It was actually a really peaceful visualization and I'm glad I did it.

Frankie enjoying the sun with me...
excuse the mess, I've been sick! LOL

Tonight, I will do the same with the moon. Per Cunningham, at the end of the 7 days I will create an offering to the God and the Goddess.

This also ties into the study guide I'm following as the first lesson is about the God and the Goddess. :)

I love my spirituality. I love thinking about it throughout the day and being excited to do something new. I'm glad I'm on this path.